


Bellyache

by GuineapigQueen



Series: Bellyache [2]
Category: South Park
Genre: Emotional/Psychological Abuse, M/M, Mpreg, Post Mpreg, having a kid is hard, in flashbacks, tweeks parents are abusive big shock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2019-10-18 20:02:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17587463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GuineapigQueen/pseuds/GuineapigQueen
Summary: Despite his best efforts, Tweek is now a parent. He's out of his depth, tired and so very alone.





	1. Consequences

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequel to "The Next Time I'll Be Colder to You" which I originally wrote as a birthday present for @pbjellie but the universe sort of ran away with itself in my head and I wrote this monster sequel. If this isn't your thing, move along, but I put a lot of hard work into this so I'm gonna post it.  
> It's not a happy fic to begin with, it centred more in realism in a bleak universe. It will have a happy ending though.

The sound stops Tweek at his core, it squeezes the breath from his lungs and stills his heart. He sits up in bed, shell shocked at the sharp cries coming from across the hall. This isn’t how it was supposed to be, he shouldn’t be frozen by the cries of a baby.  _ His baby, jesus.  _

 

The crying is still going, screaming actually, so loud that Tweek can hear it clearly behind two closed doors. He bites his lip nervously, why hasn’t anyone gotten up to get him? Should he be the one to? His parents said they would look after him. Technically he’s theirs,  _ they promised  _ they’d take care of him.

 

But they aren’t.

 

Tweek gingerly edges himself off the bed and pads his bare feet over to the door. He hesitates before reaching for the doorknob, his hand hovering just above as the screams echo through the house. 

 

Tweek has distant, foggy memories of crying alone in his room. Screaming for a mommy and daddy who never came, comforting himself from nightmares and wiping away his own tears. 

 

Something in his heart steels and he reaches for the doorknob. He twists it and opens the door in one fluid motion. Before he can really think about it he’s down the hall and at the door of the guest room - now it’s Jamie’s room. 

 

He doesn’t hesitate again, his nerve still steady even if raw emotions threaten to spill over the edge at any point. He doesn’t let himself stop to think until he’s back, sitting cross legged on his bed with the crying baby wrapped up in his arms. 

 

The adrenaline is still pumping in his chest even as he starts to realise what he just did. The left turn he just took, although it feels that way, isn’t as sudden as he thought. He was going to do all the things his parents hadn’t been - he wasn’t going to let this baby be left alone like he had been. 

 

It felt weirdly official now. 

 

Tweek remembers how to feed him and go through the motions because he was taught at the hospital. Tweek didn’t do any preparation in regards to his impending parenthood because it wasn’t supposed to be  _ his.  _ His plan had been to give Jamie away, hopefully to a family who’d think of him as a blessing rather than a really big mistake. But his parents had decided that they’d raise Jamie for Tweek and Craig, that way Tweek could actually experience some of the “consequences of his actions” they’d said.

 

Tweek was never any good at saying no to his parents. And the look on Craig’s face had solidified it for him - Craig wanted that baby. 

 

He knew it because of the way Craig cradled his belly when he was pregnant or from the things he whispered to his bump at night. Or the way Craig would be so in awe of the way you could see the baby kick and move underneath the skin of his stomach. Tweek had tried his best to ignore it but Craig would never let him.

 

Jamie is still screaming in Tweek’s arms and this is because Tweek is taking his sweet time getting downstairs to get a bottle. Everything is still so sore from the c-section, he can barely walk let alone walk while carrying Jamie. He tries his best to comfort him, even if it feels completely wrong. Tweek isn’t sure if Jamie even knows who he is at this point, seeing as he’d been trying to distance himself. But right here and now in the darkness Tweek wants Jamie to know Tweek is his dad, that Tweek will keep him safe - Tweek thinks he loves him. 

 

He refuses to put his baby down, his way of frantically trying to make up for lost bonding time. The incision in his belly, and the whole area around aches and strains but he won’t put Jamie down, he can’t. 

 

He takes the bottle back upstairs to his bedroom and feeds Jamie there. After burping him, he places a very full, sleepy Jamie next to him on the bed and stays awake for the rest of the night. Watching his son like a hawk.

 

///

 

The coffee shop is bustling and Tweek can barely keep up. He tries his best to ignore the pain radiating through his belly and focus on doing his job. It takes a lot for him not to make noises of pain in front of customers- he doesn’t want to put them off. He has Jamie under the counter, asleep in his car seat. Tweek doesn’t know how he’s managing to sleep through the noise of the customers and the machines but he thanks his lucky stars for it. He knows it isn’t going to last long though, he hopes Craig will drop by later and take Jamie for a bit. He doesn’t hold his breath. 

 

He’s working slower than usual because of the pain - he probably shouldn’t be moving and lifting things at all but formula doesn’t pay for itself. And to top it off he owes his parents thousands for the c-section and the hospital bill he ran up. He had one fucking job, to have that baby and he couldn’t even do that right. He had to get the baby cut out of him without any anaesthetic because it was life or death. 

 

He still remembers how much it hurt when the scalpel sliced through his skin. He didn’t get any kind of anaesthetic until just before he was stitched up. The contractions hurt a ton, probably more than anything he’d ever experienced. They made him scream and cry like a wild animal but it’s the c-section he really remembers. It’s that feeling of being cut open and having his guts rummaged around in that keeps him up at night. Sometimes, if he manages to fall asleep, he dreams about it.

 

He dreams about Jamie dying too, because he nearly did. If it wasn’t such a dire emergency they would have waited for the anaesthetist and everything would have been done much slower and gentler. He often startles awake and places his fingers softly on Jamie’s chest, relieved at the rise and fall of his breathing. He still cries though, terrified to look away.

 

Even now he doesn’t like that he isn’t holding Jamie, it’s making him anxious thinking about him by himself in the car seat. What if he wakes up and is frightened because Tweek isn’t there? He’s terrified to put Jamie down for extended periods of time, if he isn’t at work he lets Jamie sleep in his arms. Tweek is worried that if he lets Jamie go, even for a second that Jamie will feel neglected. Or he’ll be taken away. 

 

He spent so much of his pregnancy trying to  _ not  _ bond with Jamie and he feels awful about it. Jamie probably came out into the world confused as to why his dad didn’t love him. He called Jamie a fucking tumor - what kind of parent does that to their defenceless kid? Tweek hates himself so much for it, he’s got to make up for it in some way, so he carries Jamie everywhere and keeps him close. Tweek will protect him from the evils of the world, he has to.

 

Jamie is going to stir soon, he’s going to need a feed and he’s going to scream until he gets it. Tweek isn’t sure what to do every time that happens - sometimes he slips into a booth and keeps an eye on the counter if it’s quiet, sometimes if it’s busy he has to try and serve customers at the same time. The worst option by far is when it’s  _ so  _ busy he just has to let him scream - nobody wants to listen to a baby being neglected while they have their coffee. Tweek feels sick just thinking about Jamie screaming while he chooses the customers. Everything about this situation sucks. 

 

Tweek’s cycle of new parent anxiety is broken when he notices a customer in his peripheral vision. He looks back at Jamie, still asleep, one last time before tearing himself away. When he actually comes face to face with the customer he realises it’s Stan Marsh. He hasn’t actually seen Stan all that much since he dropped out of school. He definitely saw Kyle and Cartman once at the grocery store when he was really heavily pregnant. Stan was probably with them, he usually is. His memory of that time is kinda spotty.

 

“How can I help you?” He asks slowly and tiredly. He doesn’t have the energy to do the ‘customer voice’ and he doesn’t think Stan’s the kind of dude to rat him out to his parents for doing less than a perfect job. 

 

“Whoa dude!” Stan exclaims “you’re huge! Should you be working? Shouldn’t you have had the baby by now?” 

 

Tweek has to take a deep breath and count to three.

 

“I’ve had him, he’s right here” Tweek deadpans. He’s aware that he still looks fucking pregnant, stomachs aren’t magic and spring back into place straight away. Although Tweek definitely believes that Stan wouldn’t know that. 

 

It still hurts though, Tweek hates his body a ton, it’s just a reminder of all the horrible things that have happened I’m the last nine months. He and Craig haven’t tried to have sex yet, Tweek’s way too fucking sore but he’s not sure how he’s going to work up the courage to once he’s healed. 

 

“Oh fuck” Stan says, a blush tinting his cheeks “I’m sorry dude, I didn’t mean to…”

 

Tweek waves him away, he’s too busy to really dwell on the hurt stinging in his chest. Well, too busy now anyway, he’ll probably dwell on it in the dead of night while Jamie sleeps. He locks it away for now, safe and sound.

 

“It’s okay, you gonna order?” Tweek asks boredly. 

 

“Yeah, uh, can I have a coffee? Sugar and milk?” Stan replies awkwardly. He shifts his weight from foot to foot whilst fishing for bills from his wallet.

 

“No problem, I’ll  _ -hnn-  _ bring it out to you” Tweek says. Most of the Tweek Bros. Coffee customers are regulars and have the menu and prices memorised. Tweek is grateful that Stan hands him the correct change because he hasn’t really got the brainpower to count money at the moment. 

 

Stan doesn’t move to go sit at a table or wait to the side though. He just stands there, staring at Tweek weirdly.

 

“Can I see the baby?” He asks, craning his head a little to see over the counter. It’s fruitless, Tweek has tucked Jamie into a corner where the customers can’t see him - where Tweek knows he’s safe.

 

“Huh? Oh. Okay” Tweek answers, he’s a little taken aback. Nobody but Kenny and Craig have really expressed any interest in seeing Jamie. Tweek has been keeping him pretty well hidden anyway.

 

He opens the little gate at the side of the counter, the one with the sign saying ‘staff only’ and beckons to Stan to come through. Stan walks through gingerly, it’s clear to Tweek that he’s keeping his steps light to avoid waking Jamie. Tweek has to smile at that, Stan is nice at the core of his being. 

 

“Boy or girl?” Stan whispers.

 

“Boy. Jamie” Tweek replies. He never calls Jamie by his full name, James, ever. It’s a name Craig chose because Tweek hadn’t wanted to name him, he was still a tumor at that point. James felt too grown up for a tiny baby, he liked Jamie much better. 

 

“That’s nice, can I hold him?” Stan asks sheepishly. 

 

“No. He’s sleeping” Tweek replies bluntly. Truth be told he doesn’t want  _ anyone else  _ holding Jamie whether he is sleeping or not. Craig is allowed to because Craig is his dad and Kenny can sometimes, if he gets Tweek at a weak moment. It’s probably paranoia but Tweek doesn’t trust anyone with his baby. 

 

“Okay dude” Stan says, Tweek is glad he doesn’t push “I’m sorry about earlier I di-“ 

 

“Hey kids!” Interrupts a voice that is unmistakably Kenny’s. He’s appeared on the other side of the counter and Tweek has to shush him. 

 

“Ah fuck, sorry Tweek” he says and appropriately lowers his volume. 

 

“Kenny! Dude, you didn’t tell me Tweek had the baby?” Stan says, sounding slightly annoyed. Tweek is silently grateful that Kenny hasn’t been telling everyone in town his messy business. Kenny also knows how physically brutal Tweek’s labour was and he’s giving Tweek time to heal before he faces the public. Tweek does not deserve a best friend like Kenny. 

 

“I’m not Tweek, I’m not telling everyone Tweek’s business” Kenny retorts “Tweek can let everyone know when he’s ready.”

 

“S’ok” Tweek says and tries his best to stifle a yawn. He’s had two hours sleep max, he’s too scared to sleep. What if Jamie needs him? The only sleep he gets is involuntary, when he just passes out from pure exhaustion. He’s about to turn around to make Stan’s coffee when he hears a little whimper from Jamie’s corner.

 

The whimper quickly turns into a piercing cry, which prompts a bunch of customers to look over in Tweek’s direction. Tweek doesn’t think twice, he abandons the coffee machine and gets Jamie out of the car seat. He holds his son as close to his chest as he can. “I’m here” he murmurs to him.

 

“I’ll take him for you?” Kenny offers kindly.

 

“NO!” Tweek shrieks involuntarily, loud enough to make Jamie cry louder. Tweek kisses the top of his head, guilt twisting at his insides for scaring his baby. 

 

“Okay…” Kenny says, Tweek is relieved that he moves straight along instead of pointing out Tweek’s obvious attachment issues “I’ll pull the coffees? You feed him.” 

 

“Ah, Okay. Fuck, sorry  _ -Gah!- _ ” is all Tweek can reply while he rocks Jamie. It doesn’t really help, he knows Jamie isn’t going to stop crying until he gets fed. Fuck, Tweek is such a mess that Kenny is doing his job for him now. 

 

“It’s fine man, Stan, what the fuck did you order?” Kenny says, hopping over the little gate. After he’s behind the counter Kenny grabs the baby bag on the counter for Tweek, while Tweek goes to root around in the fridge for formula. Which he really can’t do while holding Jamie. He hisses in pain when his stitches are pulled. 

 

“Fucks sake Stan” Kenny says “help him.”

 

“I don’t need he-“

 

“Yes you fucking do” Kenny says, his voice so stern that between him and Jamie’s crying Tweek doesn’t feel like he can argue. 

 

“Oh shit! Sorry” Stan says and leaps into action. Tweek is about to lecture Stan about sterilising bottles when he hears his name.

 

“Tweek, hello!” It’s Laura Tucker, Craig’s mom. Neither of Craig’s parents have been to see Jamie. Tweek assumes they are as disappointed and disinterested as his own. 

 

“Oh, hi” he says, not knowing what else he  _ can  _ say in a situation like this.

 

“I haven’t seen you in the shop for a while, I suppose the baby is keeping you busy?” She says with a kind smile, Tweek nods. 

 

“Yeah, I gotta feed him” he says “sorry.”

 

“That’s okay” she says, sounding genuinely empathetic. “Well, it was good to see you two doing so well. New parenthood is rough. If you ever need any help, you’ve got Craig’s number.” 

 

Tweek frowns as he watches her leave. 

 

You two? That was weird.

 

///

 

_ Tweek can’t sleep, he hasn’t been able to sleep properly in months. That’s because of  _ It -  _ the baby. Craig says he has to call It a baby. The word causes a tsunami of nausea in his belly but he tries to use it all the same.  _

 

_ Craig does kind of have a point, it isn’t healthy pretending that it doesn’t exist but it’s just easier sometimes. Easier than letting out all the emotions that are lurking just below the surface. Tweek pushes them away deep down for a reason and he knows they aren’t going to hurt any less when they resurface. He just wants to avoid that day for as long as possible. _

 

_ He’s been kind of a hermit since everybody at school (and in town) found out that he’s pregnant. It’s a mixture of shame, denial and good old fashioned embarrassment. He doesn’t want people seeing him like  _ this _ and talking.  _

 

_ It’s also, partially, because he feels like shit a good deal of the time. If he’s not feeling nauseous then he’s feeling uncomfortable, or emotional or  _ some  _ part of him is swollen or aching. He is bone crushingly tired - is it really the end of the world if he just wants to lay in bed all day?  _

 

_ Of course Craig is asleep. Craig can complain all he wants about Tweek not wanting to go out when he sleeps through the night without incident. It’s been ages since Tweek was able to sleep on his back and even longer since he could sleep on his tummy. He has to sleep on his side and he has to have a pillow under his stomach if he even wants to  _ think  _ of getting a couple of hours rest.  _

 

_ The baby is really active too, Tweek thinks this might be his punishment for ignoring it for so long. He wonders if it’s trying to reach out to him, and Tweek being the horrible human being he is, wishes for the movement to go away.  _

 

_ Sometimes tiredness will get the better of him and he’ll give in. He’ll poke the spot with the most activity or just touch his middle affectionately - like you’re supposed to. He sometimes talks to it, that often gets it to calm down.  _

 

_ Tweek had felt both weirdly excited and sick when he realised that it knows his voice.  _

 

_ It’s moving now, kind of? It sort of feels like someone is flicking the inside of his belly and his entire stomach is moving. Only briefly but it’s his whole bump instead of just the localised spot where the baby normally kicks. Tweek wonders if it’s a contraction? No, it can’t be, can it? Contractions are supposed to hurt and this definitely doesn’t - it feels really, really weird but it doesn’t hurt. He doesn’t think his muscles are tightening either, it just feels different to how the movement usually feels. Jumpy and rhythmic rather than the randomness of the baby turning or kicking.  _

 

_ Tweek runs a finger along the curve of his tummy and briefly considers waking Craig. He really doesn’t see the point but he reaches over for his phone to google the odd sensation anyway. _

 

_ Google tells him his baby has hiccups. Huh.  _

 

_ He rolls over onto his back and places the pillow previously under his belly behind him. Craig murmurs next to him, probably disturbed by Tweek’s heavy, ungraceful movements. He ignores Craig and wriggles a little until the pillow is in a spot he likes. It’s not a position he’d be able to sleep in but it gives him a much better view of the movement going on in his stomach.  _

 

_ He uses his phone to illuminate the rise of his stomach and pulls his shirt up. He wrinkles his nose at the sight of his swollen belly. He’s never going to like looking at it, it’s covered in really angry red stretch marks and his belly button pokes out in a weird way that it never used to. He knows it’s never going to look how it used to ever again. He hates that. _

 

_ He pushes those feelings down and forces himself to look. His belly is still, well, hiccuping in that steady rhythmic way. It’s a little bit hypnotising - fascinating enough to allow him to really watch, rather than turning away in disgust.  _

 

_ He feels that familiar feeling of pressure and jab of a foot (or an elbow? He’s not sure) to signify the kid moving around. It’s restless and Tweek can see a clear rise and stretch of his stomach as the baby clearly struggles to get comfortable.  _

_ Just under his belly button is where whichever appendage is poking out, he places his hand there and strokes over the small lump.  _

 

_ “Uncomfortable in there huh?” He sighs “join the  _ -nghh- _ club.” _

 

_ He feels the lump shift a little under his palm along with another fleeting hiccup. More stretching, more pressure. His side has more of a lump now, he pokes at it.  _

 

_ “Kicking me isn’t  _ -ah-  _ isn’t going to make them go away buddy” he says, voice still low so as not to wake Craig. For the first time he wonders if the baby is a boy or a girl, should he choose a name? Will his parents choose it?  _

 

_ His chest goes tight thinking about the very real truth that this is a person. It moves for him, much more than anyone else, he doesn’t even really have to try but Craig and Kenny will spend ages poking at and talking to his tummy.  _

 

_ He  _ should  _ love it. Why can’t he? _

 

_ He lets himself have these moments in the dead of night because he knows that his defences will be back up along with the light of day. It will feel like less of a person tomorrow and he can feel less terrible for being unable to bond.  _

 

_ “Sorry kid” he says. He gives his belly a good rub and hums into the dark quietly in the hopes that it’ll settle the baby down. They seem to like his voice, he hopes it will make the little one feel better. Even if it’s just for the moment.  _

 

///


	2. I Need Him

Tweek groans as he hits the ‘end call’ button on his phone for, like, the seventh time maybe? He’d sent Craig several texts (okay, a lot more than several) and left him a voicemail. It’s not like he’s in school at the moment so why can’t he just  _ pick up.  _

 

Maybe this was Craig breaking up with him, losing interest in the responsibilities that came with having a baby like so many dad’s before him. Craig was the one that wanted to officially be together, Craig was the one who wanted to keep Jamie and if not keep him then stay in contact with him at least. 

 

Craig  _ did  _ show genuine interest in Jamie when he came round though. Well, maybe it was too early to judge, it had only been a couple of days since he’d left the hospital and not quite a week since Jamie was born. Craig had only been round a couple of times whereas he used to stay the night while Tweek was pregnant. 

 

Tweek doesn’t even want Craig to come and pay attention to him, not really, he just wants a fucking shower. He wants Jamie to be held by a parent that isn’t him. If he  _ has  _ to give Jamie to someone else it has to be Craig. 

 

He whines loudly before throwing his phone on the bed, he can’t help but let out a wet, chest-wracking sob. The erratic movement of his chest sets his belly on fire and he instinctively clutches at it. The pain doesn’t stop the crying, it all feels so hopeless- everybody has left him. 

 

Well, not Jamie. Jamie wasn’t ever going to leave him, which is ironic seeing as Tweek had wanted to give him away. His whole worldview had changed so much in only a couple of days, Tweek can’t stomach the thought of someone else raising Jamie now. 

 

Jamie is looking up at him, confused, from his spot on the floor where Tweek had placed him on a blanket. He wasn’t fussy at the moment, just watching Tweek intently as he sobbed. Tweek tried to hush his crying, so that he hopefully wouldn’t distress Jamie but he couldn’t quite stop. Each sob pulled at his stitches over and over again. It hurt  _ so much,  _ was it supposed to hurt this much? Tweek supposes that it’s nothing less than he deserves. 

 

Tweek inches himself closer to Jamie, he suddenly feels awful for leaving him on the floor like that. Maybe he felt scared or unsafe being left alone. 

Tweek cries out in pain as he lifts Jamie into his arms, but it’s worth it to have his son snuggled safely against his chest. He feels a little better feeling Jamie’s warmth against his own. They don’t need anybody else. 

 

Tweek’s thoughts are interrupted by the sharp sound of his phone buzzing. He fumbles around the bed behind him before finding it.

 

It’s Craig. Finally.

 

He takes a deep breath before pressing accept.

 

“What the fuck Tweek? Do you know I have that fucking math quiz tomorrow?” Craig says, all at once and sounding very annoyed. Not even a “hello” or “how are you?” Tweek’s stomach churns with anxiety, he yelps a little into the phone while trying to shift his weight to hold both Jamie and the phone properly. 

 

“I Ah- no, I guess I forgot, sorry man” he replies.

 

“Are you… are you alright? You sound…” Craig sounds softer now, probably having picked up on the scratchiness of Tweek’s throat and the wetness in his voice. 

 

“I’m fine” Tweek cuts in. Even though he’d wanted Craig’s help initially now he feels a burning in his chest to say no. To prove to Craig that he doesn’t need him. 

 

“Have you been crying?” Craig asks, his tone now very soft and gentle. 

 

“Gah! No!” Tweek cries, Jamie starts to fuss in his arms.

 

“Is that Jamie in the background?”

 

“Shit! Ah! Yes” Tweek says, struggling to soothe Jamie and talk to Craig simultaneously “I just want you to come  _ -hnn-  _ see him, please?” Tweek hates how fucking pathetic he feels. 

 

“Tweek I’ll come see you both tomorrow, after school. I have to keep studying but we can talk about it then” Craig sighs “I’ll see you tomorrow. I love you, both of you.”

 

“Okay” Tweek says, his voice unsteady as he clicks the call off. His hands are shaking. Why are they shaking? Craig still wants to see them. 

 

Craig still loves them. He thinks.

 

///

 

_ “Nghhh” Tweek moans, half asleep. He rolls over and pulls the blanket in tighter, he can feel the warmth of Craig’s body heat behind him. He curls in as tight as his belly will allow.  _

 

_ “Tweek” Craig whispers, Tweek can feel his breath on the back of his neck. _

 

_ “Nooo” he whines in response. _

 

_ “Talk to me” he says, still hushed.  _

 

_ Tweek doesn’t answer, he just pulls Craig’s arm tighter around him so that he’s hugging Tweek’s stomach. He just needs Craig close, everything will be fine if he just stays right here with Craig wrapped around him.  _

 

_ Craig seems to get it and slots himself into place, he rubs his thumb against the curve of Tweek’s belly. Tweek pushes his hand a little lower, to where the cramping is the worst and tries not to moan out loud again. If he makes noise Craig will make him go to the hospital and Tweek doesn’t want to go. If he ignores it it will go away, he’s had pains before and they’ve always gone away in time.  _

 

_ “Tweek” Craig says again “the baby is coming tonight.” _

 

_ Tweek shakes his head. No, not yet. He doesn’t want it to.  _

 

_ Craig tears himself away from Tweek and sits up on the bed. Tweek whines at the loss of his touch.  _

 

_ “I’m taking you to the hospital” he says sternly. _

 

_ “No” Tweek says before sucking in a deep breath as his belly tightens painfully again “I’m not going without Kenny!”  _

 

_ “I’ll call him” Craig sighs. _

 

_ Later though, Craig seems grateful for Kenny. Kenny drives them both to the hospital which allows for Craig to stay cuddled up with Tweek in the backseat.  _

 

_ Tweek is mostly silent, except for the odd involuntary whimper, as he is admitted. He tells the nursing staff he isn’t in labour over and over but they don’t listen. They seem to get irritated with him very quickly, especially when they go to do an internal examination to manually break his water. Tweek kicks and screams, refusing to let anyone near  _ there.  _ Kenny and Craig hold him down until they’re done.  _

 

_ He spends the beginning of his hospital stay falling in and out of restless sleep. Being woken again by pain and discomfort but then being told to try to go back to sleep again. It’s irritating and he doesn’t understand how people expect him to sleep feeling the way he does.  _

 

_ “I’ve called your parents like ten times” Craig says when Tweek wakes from a ‘power nap.’  _

 

_ “I don’t want them” Tweek mumbles.  _

 

_ “If they’re taking the baby they should probably be here” Craig says “it’ll be over soon okay.” _

 

_ But that’s a lie, it’s nowhere near over. He feels about ready to puke but people keep telling him to get up and walk around. He doesn’t know how the fuck he’s supposed to do that when he feels like his belly is in a vice. Squeezing and squeezing and, oh god, he’s definitely going to be sick if it doesn’t stop.  _

 

_ He grips Craig’s hand while Kenny plays with his hair in that way that Tweek has liked ever since they were kids. It’s mildly comforting but not enough to overpower the pressure.  _

 

_ “Make it stop” he whines.  _

 

_ “I’m sorry babe” Craig says “you’re doing really well.” _

 

_ “You’re crushing it” Kenny agrees. _

 

_ Tweek doesn’t respond, he throws up all down his front instead. _

 

_ — _

 

_ The nurses keep asking about a birth plan and Craig has to keep telling them sheepishly that there isn’t one. Tweek’s ‘birth plan’ is to get it the hell out.  _

_ They keep asking him if he wants pain relief or to go natural. Tweek refuses to take any pain relief, even though Craig and Kenny suggest he should, he doesn’t deserve it.  _

 

_ Tweek’s not sure how long they’ve been at the hospital for but he knows that he was admitted at night and now it’s daytime. Time has sort of all melded together and Tweek can’t even tell whether he’s a real person anymore, let alone how long he’s been here.  _

 

_ “Why is it taking so long?” Tweek howls, a stone's throw away from tears. He’s ready to cry more from delirium and exhaustion than anything else. The pain is - well, it comes and goes. It’s not unmanageable at this point.  _

 

_ “Having a baby takes ages Tweek, hours and hours” Craig says “I googled it.” _

 

_ “Fuck off” Tweek replies through gritted teeth “I don’t care what google says, it’s taking too long!” _

 

_ “That’s pretty fucking fair” Kenny says “you have been here all night and all morning.” _

 

_ “Your mom says that they’re coming by after work. Surely the baby will be born by then, right?” Craig says, he sounds a little rattled and his brow is creased in concern.  _

 

_ “Yeah, definitely” Kenny reassures.  _

 

_ “Who gives a shit” Tweek spits, very eloquently.  _

 

_ “Don’t they need to be here to sign the adoption papers?” Craig asks. Tweek wants to kill him because  _ who cares!  _ Can everybody stop thinking of It for one second and come look after him? It’s not even  _ here  _ yet, he’s the one suffering,  _

 

_ “There’s no adoption papers” Tweek says, he rubs a particularly sore spot on his lower belly. “Ughh ah-“ _

 

_ “Hey, you’re okay” Kenny says and strokes his back.  _

 

_ “Why are there no papers?” Craig asks. _

 

_ “Because if we give up our, ah! Our parental rights then we’re not facing consequences or something…” Craig wanted to keep it anyway, why does he have  _ so  _ many questions? _

 

_ “Oh” Craig says “that doesn’t sound too bad. We’ve still got our rights if we change our minds…” _

 

_ “Nghh, not changing my mind Craig” Tweek retorts, he screws his eyes shut and tries to block out Craig’s idiocy. _

 

_ “But like, for the future…” _

 

_ “Craig” Kenny says flatly “shut the fuck up and hold your boyfriend's hand.” _

 

_ — _

 

_ Things don’t progress, everything is going so slow, like syrup slowly dripping from a jar to the floor. The pain is getting worse, but every time somebody comes to check him they tell him he isn’t any further dilated. He’s pretty sure they think he’s a hysterical teenager looking for attention but something definitely feels wrong.  _

 

_ He couldn’t tell you specifically what feels wrong but he doesn’t feel like he’s being hysterical. And he’s definitely not seeking attention, actually, he’d sort of prefer that everyone left him alone. He just wants the doctors and nurses to do whatever they need to do to make it stop.  _

 

_ Nurses flatly respond to his cries with offers of pain relief but Tweek can’t bring himself to accept. Every time he goes to say yes he imagines how disappointed his parents will be in him for taking the ‘easy’ way out. What if they change their minds because they found out that he cheated, what if they refuse to take the baby? No, he has to have it naturally and feel all the pain he’s supposed to feel.  _

 

_ “Nobody is gonna judge you if you want an epidural Tweek” Craig says softly, he’s massaging Tweek’s lower back while Tweek lets out a long, low moan. He’s hit the point where he can’t really stifle his cries of pain anymore. He rests both hands on his stomach, which is hard to the touch. When the contraction ends it goes back to normal and it’s honestly frightening. His body is just doing all these things without his consent and he’s so far beyond the point where he has a choice. He’s having a baby today whether he’s ready or not. _

 

_ “Try to breathe” Kenny says and Tweek tries his best to focus on that. On anything but the fact that he’s soon going to be face to face with a wriggling, screaming, living baby. He doesn’t want to meet the thing that’s been growing in his belly. _

 

_ They’re probably going to make him hold it.  _

 

_ When his parents do finally show up they aren’t particularly sympathetic, even though he’s been going more than twelve hours now. Nothing is moving and the nurses seem to be a little bit more concerned now, at least somebody is kind of taking him seriously. Because his parents sure aren’t. _

 

_ The doctor came by briefly and asked him how he felt about the possibility of a c-section. The look his parents gave him made him know to say no, he doesn’t want one. They give the same look when he’s asked about pain relief.  _

 

_ Whilst Craig and Kenny are holding him and offering encouragement his parents keep cutting in and telling Tweek that he shouldn’t have gotten himself into this situation.  _

 

_ That he should have used a condom if he didn’t want to be in pain.  _

 

_ That this what happens, when you want to be a grown up and have a baby.  _

 

_ Tweek doesn’t really know who to listen to, so he listens to neither.  _

 

_ In what feels like a short space of time, at least, compared to the expanse of time he’s spent here, the pain becomes shooting white hot. It makes his toes curl and his back arch. He doesn’t hear anyone’s voices anymore, just his own screaming. And it doesn’t go away, it just kept on coming and coming until Tweek is crying along with the screaming. He feels possessed, he definitely isn’t in control of his body anymore. It feels almost like somebody else is screaming and crying but the pain reminds him that it is actually  _ him. 

 

_ And then there was blood, so much blood. Too much. _

 

_ He can feel the sticky warmth soak between his legs and the sheets he was lying on. He can barely hear Kenny and Craig shouting obscenities over the loud buzzing in his ears.  _

 

_ He doesn’t know what’s going on, only that the bed he’s on is moving and that Craig, Kenny and his parents are gone. The wetness between his legs is still soaking his bottom half and the pain hasn’t ebbed. He can hear the doctors and nurses speaking but he can’t process the words, all he hears is static.  _

 

_ He stays still as the world keeps moving around him. _

 

_ — _

 

_ He feels when they cut into him, he’s too weak to scream but he feels it. The sharp slice of the scalpel on his skin, people’s hands being plunged into his stomach. He isn’t sure exactly what they’re doing, are they trying to save his life first? Or the baby’s? Or both? God maybe they’re getting the baby out and then just tossing him aside like trash? Maybe he isn’t worth saving.  _

 

_ He doesn’t have words for the way he feels, the stinging, burning pain of having been cut open. Or even just knowing that his belly is wide open and those are people’s hands pulling at his guts. Horrified is the best word he can come up with on such short notice.  _

 

_ “Hang in there sweetheart” a nurse says to him kindly “the anaesthetist is on his way. It’s nearly over.” _

 

_ What’s nearly over? He’s not sure what they’re actually doing. Probably cutting the baby out but maybe there’s more? Maybe something fucked up and that’s why he started bleeding? Jesus, what if he’s just bleeding to death right here and he doesn’t even know it. Someone is pulling and pulling and pulling. He just wants them to stop or for someone to knock him the fuck out already.  _

 

_ He isn’t even sure why, but a sense of relief washes over him when he feels a weight being pulled from him. His stomach feels so weirdly light. He really lets the tension dissipate when he hears the sharp cry of his baby.  _

 

_ “You’ve got a boy!” The surgeon calls from behind the green surgery curtain “he looks strong and healthy!” _

 

_ Tweek feels hands back on his belly, straining again. When will it be over? _

 

_ “Well done” the kind nurse says to him “You’ve got a beautiful baby boy.” _

 

_ “I wanna hold him” Tweek mumbles. _

 

_ “Not yet sweetheart, the anaesthetist is here, he’ll be here when you wake up.” _

 

_ Tweek wants to protest but before he can even try he feels his eyelids drooping and his consciousness drifting away. Drifting downstream and away from this nightmare, to somewhere where he’s a normal kid again and it’s just Craig and him. _

 

_ — _

 

_ When Tweek finally comes to everything feels heavy. He can barely lift his head and he has to force his eyes to open. His belly hurts, way more than he thought it would. Obviously it doesn’t hurt like the final throes of labour did but it stings and aches badly. In multiple places too, deep inside him aches, his muscles are a sore and his incision stings. He doesn’t think he can move, even the rise and fall of his breathing is bringing tears to his tired eyes. _

 

_ “Nghhh” he moans loudly, the only sound he can get out. His brain isn’t fast enough to form real words, his thoughts are dulled by what he assumes is a painkiller and the throb of his head. If it’s a painkiller it’s not doing a great job, it’s just making him feel nauseous. _

 

_ “Tweek!” A voice calls from across the room. It’s Craig, Tweek’s brain supplies a little too late. _

 

_ “Kenny! Tweek’s awake!” Craig calls and rushes to Tweek’s bedside. _

 

_ “Craaaaaiiig” Tweek slurs “where is he?” _

 

_ “He’s here” Craig says with a huge grin on his face. Tweek can see that he has a little blue bundle his arms. He looks so small, even though he definitely didn’t feel small when he was still in Tweek’s belly. He could barely move right before he was born and Tweek himself couldn’t get comfortable even for a moment. _

 

_ But here he is, out, and he looks tiny and fragile.  _

_ Tweek struggles to reconcile that the baby in Craig’s arms is also the thing that grew in his belly for nine months.  _

 

_ There he is, not a tumor.  _

 

_ “I need him” Tweek says, a sob choking in the back of his throat. Big wet tears roll down his cheeks as he holds out his shaking arms. Craig complies and places the small baby in Tweek’s arms. The weight of him feels weird, he looks only half awake but he looks up at Tweek all the same. Who is he to this little person? Does this baby love him? Does he remember him? Know his voice? Is he this baby’s dad? _

 

_ He doesn’t know, but for the first time the baby feels like his. _

 

///

 

Tweek stretches out on his bed but yelps and recoils when he tugs his throbbing incision just that bit too far. Craig looks over in concern and Tweek tries his best not to look too pinched. Craig is standing in the corner of the bedroom and feeding Jamie - he insisted on doing it himself. Tweek didn’t want to let him but he feels like he’s denying something extremely important from Jamie when he withholds him from Craig. His arms don’t feel right without Jamie’s weight, Tweek has to force himself not to go over there and take him back. He tries to rest, like Craig told him to. 

 

It’s nice to be able to lie on his back again, his spine no longer being bent into a curve or crushed under Jamie’s weight. He hasn’t tried lying on his stomach yet but that’s only because of the angry red wound pulsating and stinging on his lower belly. Tweek’s not sure how long he’s supposed to wait before the pain gets better. 

 

“Does he always eat this much?” Craig asks him.

 

“Mhmm” Tweek affirms groggily “he’ll probably  _ -hnn-  _ spit up a bunch on you after.”

 

“Gross” Craig replies but Tweek can hear in his tone that he doesn’t mean it. He’s smiling at Jamie as he says it. 

 

“Yeah well we made him, so…” he says, cutting himself off with a yawn. 

 

“You love him, don’t you?” Craig says, still smiling.

 

“Yeah” Tweek replies, trying to keep his heavy eyelids open.

 

Craig seems to have retained everything that they were taught at the hospital as he moves straight to burping Jamie when he finishes his bottle. He doesn’t ask Tweek for help or seem unsure in the slightest. Tweek isn’t sure if he’s jealous or proud. 

 

“He’ll probably fall asleep soon” Tweek says “he drinks himself into a milk coma. He’s a good sleeper, he goes down  _ -nnn-  _ easy but wakes up every few hours.” 

 

“Well I can put him down, you just have a nap or something” Craig says “he’s already drifting off.”

 

“No, he sleeps with me” Tweek says, still trying to fight off sleep. He knows he should trust Craig he just  _ doesn’t. _

 

_ “ _ What? In the bedroom?” Craig asks, eyebrows raised.

 

“Yeah man, in here where I can see him” Tweek replies and furrows his brow. Plenty of fucking people sleep in the same room as their kids, it’s not weird or abnormal.

 

“Well maybe tonight he can sleep in his own room?” Craig suggests 

 

“What, so you can  _ -gah-  _ fuck me before you fuck off again? Fuck no! He stays here” Tweek shouts. He doesn’t even know where this is all coming from all he knows is suddenly his chest is tight and he can hear the echo of his heartbeat in his ears. His stomach swirls with a sick sense of guilt and fear. Darkness.

 

“No, Tweek what the fuck! I meant so you can have some time away from him yeesh!” Craig says, clearly annoyed. But Tweek doesn’t stop, he can’t. 

 

“I don’t  _ need  _ time away from him. I need him here with me!” He yells. Craig is glaring at him, still rocking Jamie. 

 

“Yes you do Tweek, you need a fucking break!” He says, exasperated.

 

He ignores Tweek and goes to open the door. To take Jamie away from him, to put his baby in a whole other room where he’ll be alone and scared. 

 

“ _ No no NO!!!!  _ You can’t take him!!!” Tweek yells, leaping off the bed and grabbing Craig. He howls in pain as he does so.

 

Jamie begins to cry loudly, awoken from his milk coma and very unhappy about it. Tweek wants to die, how could he have been so stupid and have woken poor Jamie? Both he and Craig stare at each other for a long, awful moment. Tweek still grabbing onto Craigs arm with the only sound of Jamie’s sharp cries between them.

 

“Jesus fuck Tweek, okay” Craig says finally breaking the silence. He pulls in Jamie close and quietly shushes him. He kisses the top of his little head and Tweek feels so guilty he could cry. 

 

“He sleeps here, but you need to calm the fuck down” Craig says. His voice back to that usual, even tone he always has. It’s oddly calming, Tweek lets himself exhale.

 

“O-okay, god, sorry I- Er, shit!” He stammers, stroking Jamie’s head as if that might help the situation some. 

 

“It’s okay just calm down, he can sleep in the carrier” Craig says.

 

“Can I put him down please?” Tweek begs. He needs to set this right, he needs to make Jamie feel safe again. He has to know that Tweek is his safe place. 

 

“Yeah ok, but when he’s sleeping you should too” Craig nods and hands Jamie over to Tweek. Tweek cradles him and hums until he falls asleep. 

 

///

 

Later, after Jamie is settled and asleep in his carrier Tweek crawls into bed with Craig who wraps his arms around Tweek with no hesitation. Tweek falls into his embrace, feeling fragile and  _ so, so  _ tired. He wraps his arms around Craig’s waist and presses his cheek against Craig’s chest. He stays there for a minute and just listens to the beat of Craig’s heart. They both know that something is wrong but Tweek isn’t going to be the one to talk about it. 

 

“You  _ do  _ still want to  _ -ah- _ fuck me though? Right?” He says finally. Insecurity getting the better of him.

 

“Tonight or in general?” Craig says. They’re whispering so that they don’t wake Jamie. Tweek cuddles in tighter so that all of him is pressed against Craig’s side. 

 

“Not tonight, everything hurts man” Tweek replies, he buries his face in further. 

 

“Well yeah, of course I wanna. Why wouldn’t I?” Craig replies and brings up a hand to pet Tweek’s wild, unruly hair. He still has all this growth from when he was pregnant, he hasn’t had time to brush it - let alone get it cut.

 

“Because I’m gross,  _ -nghh-  _ look at me” he says miserably. 

 

“Babe, you are fine. You’re fucking wonderful if you ask me” Craig assures, he then kisses the top of Tweek’s head. 

 

“I’m not. I look like a used balloon, all deflated” he sighs. He feels like a used balloon too, his body has served its purpose and now it’s all used and gross. He feels like damaged goods. 

 

“He’s not even a week old yet, you’ll feel more like yourself soon” Craig says, his voice low and soothing “You had my kid Tweek, you look how you look because you had Jamie and what’s not to love about that?”

 

Tweek considers this for a second. He supposes that’s a good way to look at it - every change was because of Jamie, and even if Tweek didn’t like being pregnant at the time he's not wishing away Jamie. It’s probably going to take some time before he sees it Craig’s way and a long time before he stops feeling used and tossed aside. 

 

It’s not Jamie’s fault, he didn’t ask to be born but that doesn’t make Tweek feel less like he’s worthless without him. He still feels a bit like an incubator and that he’s purposeless without Jamie.

 

He wants to see what Craig sees, he really does.

 

“When we do it next, I  _ -hnn-  _ wanna be on top” he says quietly. He misses being intimate with Craig without the bump, well Jamie, in the way. Not now, not tonight, he’s not healed enough but maybe soon. 

 

“Okay babe, whenever you’re ready” Craig says kindly. 

 

Maybe they won’t be having sex tonight but Tweek still feels more loved than he has in a long, long time.

 

“Why’d you name him James?” Tweek asks after a small but not uncomfortable silence.

 

“Well, my uncle was called James. I was kind of put on the spot and I thought it wasn’t a name I’d hate saying for the rest of my life” Craig explains.

 

“I do like it” Tweek says “well, I really  _ -nghh- _ like Jamie but it’s not what I would have chosen.”

 

“Oh yeah? What would you have chosen?”

 

Tweek hadn’t chosen any names while pregnant. He wasn’t attached enough and he wasn’t looking to be. They didn’t know the gender and every time Craig asked about names Tweek shut him out. He only started thinking about names recently, when he brought Jamie home from the hospital and laid awake watching him at night. Sometimes he calls Jamie a different name, mostly in his head but sometimes out loud. Especially when he is trying to settle or comfort him. Like a private nickname for only the two of them, he supposes he should let Craig in though. They are a family after all.

 

“Charlie” Tweek says quietly “not Charles or anything. Just Charlie.”

 

“Charlie is nice too. Do you want to change it? We still can if you want?” Craig asks, his fingers still threading through Tweek’s messy hair. It makes him feel so safe, it’s how he hopes he makes Jamie feel.

 

“No, his name is Jamie but I like to  _ -hnn-  _ call him Charlie sometimes. Like a pet name” Tweek murmurs. 

 

“He doesn’t have a middle name” Craig says “I couldn’t think of one, I thought maybe we could think of one together but I think it should be Charlie… if that’s what you want.”

 

“Okay” Tweek whispers “we both got to name him.”

 

“Yeah” Craig replies “I’ll try to be around more for you guys. My mom is just kicking my ass about school, but summers coming soon. I’ll spend it all with you two.” 

 

Tweek nods, he can feel his heavy eyelids fluttering shut as Craig’s fingers lovingly stroke his hair. 

 

_ Safe. We’re safe. _

 

///


	3. The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In crisis mode, Tweek is desperate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in getting out these chapters, I've had a lot on lately. Thanks to sun_sparks for the beta.

Tweek laid back on his bed and tried to drown out the screaming. Jamie just won’t stop tonight and Tweek is shattered. He has Jamie lying on the bed next to him with the pillows strategically placed either side to act as a barrier. He doesn’t really know what else to do at this point; he’s fed, burped, changed and cuddled but nothing seems to be working. He’s tried singing to him, talking to him, rocking him and just holding him close. He doesn’t know what he wants. 

 

To top it off, he feels awful; the pain in his stomach has only worsened and it genuinely hurts to breathe. His wound throbs while his head aches nastily and he feels dizzy and nauseous. His cheeks are burning hot and he can barely keep his eyes open; if it weren’t for Jamie screaming he probably would be asleep. 

 

He hurls himself upwards, slowly and very painfully. He groans loudly as he does so; it hurts so much, the stinging brings tears to the corner of his eyes. He edges himself closer so that he’s over Jamie, he leans down  _ (it hurts it hurts it hurts)  _ and kisses his little belly. 

 

He tries his best not to cry. Why can’t he help Jamie, why can’t he get this right? He’s such a shitty parent he can’t even comfort his crying child. Jamie is going to grow up so messed up and it’s all his fault. 

 

“I’m sorry Charlie, I’m sorry,” he whispers as he strokes Jamie’s head. He squeezes his eyes shut in a futile effort to stop the tears. 

 

He’s so tired, so stressed and everything hurts  _ so much. _

 

He looks over at the clock and realises that Jamie probably is due for another feed around about now. He’s been screaming this whole time - god, what if he’s sick? He’s barely a week old and Tweek’s already made his baby sick. Jesus Christ, why is he so awful at this?

 

He cries out painfully as he picks up Jamie and slowly pulls himself off the bed. There’s no way he’s leaving Jamie alone in this room screaming while he makes up a bottle. Jamie needs to be with him always. But god, carrying him hurts so much. 

 

When he gets downstairs and opens the fridge, he realises there’s no bottles made up. What? Did he forget to make more? Fuck, how could he be so short sighted and forget something like that? He heads to the pantry to grab some more formula but when he opens the tin, it’s empty. 

 

_ No no no what? _

 

Why the fuck did he put back an empty tin? He can’t see any more and Jamie is still screaming. This can’t be happening. Tweek has to steady himself as a wave of dizziness washes over him. He’s broke and his parents are out of town for the week. Where the fuck is he going to find the money? He can’t believe he fucked up this monumentally. He doesn’t remember finishing the tin and he definitely doesn’t remember using the last bottle. Jesus Christ, he’s the worst parent in the world. 

 

He hobbles back up the stairs to his bedroom trying his best to hush Jamie, but Tweek knows there’s zero chance that Jamie will stop screaming ‘til he’s fed. He might not even stop then; he didn’t last feed. 

 

When he gets there, he places Jamie back down on the bed and reaches for his phone. He dials his parents’ number, teary eyed, but gets their voicemail. He wants to scream,  _ why does nobody care?  _ Sure, he’s a fuck up, but Jamie isn’t. Jamie’s just a defenceless beautiful baby boy, people should be rushing to love and care for him - even if they want nothing to do with Tweek. 

 

He tries another number, Craig’s, but also gets voicemail.  _ Fucking hell. _

 

He doesn’t know what else to do. At a loss for a better option, he bundles up Jamie in all the blankets he can find and starts walking. 

 

///

 

The wind is howling but Tweek can’t feel the cold. In fact, he feels hot; his face is burning and the wound on his belly is throbbing. He’s conscious that Jamie is probably freezing though. Most of the clothes he has for Jamie aren’t particularly warm - he hasn’t got any beanies or mittens though he knows that living in Colorado means he should. He’s tried his best to substitute with blankets, he can only hope it’s working. Tweek holds Jamie as close to his chest as he can, every loud anguished wail his son makes squeezes hard at his chest and makes tears water in his eyes. 

 

He has to fix this: he doesn't care anymore - he'll beg Craig if he has to. 

 

Craig lives across town from him, so it’s a bit of a walk but Tweek barely feels it. He feels almost like he’s detached from his own body and the person wearing only a t-shirt and sweatpants in a cold, windy Colorado night is someone else entirely. The walking is robotic at this point, a fully automated Tweek.

 

He doesn’t really come back to himself until he’s standing on Craig’s doorstep. Steeling himself to knock on the door and beg. He takes a long, deep breath before he does so.

 

Laura Tucker answers the door. 

 

She looks up at him in confusion.

 

“Hi Tweek,” she says. Her lips move but he can't hear what she says clearly. It's like being underwater and Tweek is surely drowning... “Is there anything I can do for you?”

 

“Help,” Tweek says, stumbling forward a little. “I need help.”

 

“Sure, come inside honey. Where’s your coat? You must be freezing,” she says with concern and ushers Tweek inside. 

 

“I forgot,” he says dumbly. “I’m too hot.”

 

There’s that static scrambling his brain again - like right before he had the c-section. Jesus, is he gonna bleed everywhere? He stumbles again, dizzy and weak. 

 

Laura reaches up and places a hand on Tweek’s forehead.

 

“Jeez, you are burning up,” she says.

 

By now, all the Tuckers are peeking into the hallway, trying to figure out why there’s a screaming baby in their house. 

 

Craig is the closest to them and he’s gone white as a sheet. 

 

“Craig,” Tweek moans. “I need your help  _ -gah-  _ please! I ran out of formula I didn’t mean to but I did and I have no money  _ please,”  _ he knows he’s rambling but he’s desperate. Craig seems to realise this and rushes forward to take Jamie from Tweek’s arms.

 

“I have some,” he says, calm and comforting.

 

“Wait,” Laura says. “why do  _ you  _ have some?”

 

She’s looking at Craig wide-eyed, taken aback by how he clearly knows what to do with the baby. Craig’s kind of always been a natural, but even still, he doesn’t need to be told by anyone how to take care of his kid. Tweek’s stomach drops in realisation.

 

_ Oh no. _

 

“Because,” Craig replies, “Jamie is  _ my _ son, not Kenny’s.”

 

_ “WHAT THE FUCK CRAIG?!”  _ She screeches, prompting Jamie to wail louder. Tweek flinches too, he stares up at Craig in shock.

 

_ How could he not tell them? _

 

This seems to flick a switch in her.

 

“Feed him, I’ll kill you when you’re done,” she grits out, giving Craig a look that could curdle milk. Craig hangs his head in shame but scurries off just the same.

 

“Sorry,” Tweek says weakly, as soon as Craig is gone. “didn’t know.”

 

“Oh Tweek,” she says kindly, sounding rattled but still kind. “It’s not your fault. Shit... Come and sit down.”

 

He doesn’t know what else to do, so he follows her and collapses down onto the couch cushions. He lets out another gasp of pain as he falls. 

 

He’s been to Craig’s place before, briefly but they have done most of their hanging out either at parties or at Tweek’s. Before Tweek got pregnant, his parents weren’t around to police his behaviour and it was easier to have Craig round his place if they wanted to fuck. 

 

The house is small, but quaint and cozy. Tweek likes it, even in his addled state he feels safer than he has in a while. There’s pictures all around the house, decorating the walls. There’s pictures of Craig and his sister Tricia in various stages of their growing up. 

 

There’s a really sweet picture of baby Craig smiling up at the camera - he looks  _ so  _ like Jamie. 

 

There is also what Tweek assumes, are Laura and Thomas’ wedding pictures. Baby Craig is smack bang between them in a tiny little baby tux being clearly cuddled and loved by his parents. His house doesn’t have any momentos like that. It must be nice to grow up surrounded by happy memories. 

 

“Honey,” Laura says from beside him, bringing him back to earth. “where are your parents?”

 

“I dunno,” Tweek slurs, “away?”

 

“And they didn’t leave you any emergency money?” She asks.

 

“No. My responsibility,” he manages, his eyelids feeling heavier and heavier.

 

He feels Laura’s hand on his forehead again.

 

“You’re not okay, are you?” She says quietly. “Your temperature is through the roof.”

 

_ ‘Hurts’ _ is all Tweek can mange as a reply.

 

“Craig!” She calls. “Help me get Tweek into the car, we’re going to the ER!”

 

///

 

Tweek can feel himself fall between wakefulness and sleep during the car ride. All he knows for sure is that he can feel Craig’s side pressed against him. 

He keeps being woken up by pain before drifting back into unconsciousness again. It feels kind of like when he was in labor; he can’t understand why this is happening  _ again _ . He can’t hear Jamie crying anymore either - he must have gone insane. 

 

He can vaguely hear Craig and Laura arguing, but mostly he concentrates on the vibrations Craig’s chest makes when he talks. They’re arguing about Jamie. 

 

Right, yeah… Craig hadn’t told Laura about him. 

 

Tweek had just assumed that much like his own parents, they just hadn’t wanted him. 

 

_ Jamie… where is Jamie? Why can’t Tweek hear him? _

 

“Jamie?” He mumbles, interrupting the fighting.

 

“He’s at home, my dad’s got him,” Craig says, his tone switching from aggravated to calm instantly. Tweek wonders if this will be his dad voice. 

 

“N-noo,” Tweek moans, “I need him.”

 

“He’s gonna be okay,” Laura assures, “you can see him as soon as we get you checked out.”

 

“My dad’s really good with babies, he’s always been good with my cousins. Jamie is absolutely fine, babe,” Craig promises and cuddles Tweek in closer.

 

Tweek wants to argue but he can’t, he doesn’t have the energy. 

 

He doesn’t really remember what happens next. Somehow he got from the car to the waiting room and he definitely doesn’t remember being processed at reception. He lets himself sink further into Craig’s side as Craig lovingly pats his hair. 

 

“You’re gonna be okay,” he keeps saying, but Tweek doesn’t give a shit about himself. Is  _ Jamie  _ okay? He wants to ask, but his mouth can’t form words, his lips feel too heavy. 

 

“Craig, why  _ the fuck  _ did you screw Tweek over like this?” Laura says finally, Tweek can hear how angry she is, but he feels too far away to feel scared.

 

“I didn’t know…” Craig replies. “I thought his parents were buying the formula. I’ve tried to go over and help but, I thought his parents were taking Jamie.” He sounds really guilty. Tweek feels bad, maybe he should have let Craig be more hands on with their son.. 

 

“You didn’t try hard enough. You had nine whole months to tell me you and Tweek were having a baby and you  _ didn’t!”  _ Laura seethes. 

 

_ “ _ I only found out a few months ago, like three and a bit maybe?” Craig hits back defensively. 

 

“You still had three and a bit months, then! All this time we could have been helping and supporting Tweek, but instead  _ you  _ left him on his own!” Laura yells, her last few words seem to hurt Craig the most. Tweek can hear his breathing change when she says them. 

 

“I didn’t!” He breaks. “I was there! I was there when he was born and I went over and helped -- I just thought that Tweek’s parents were pitching in too! He didn’t tell me… ah fuck! I’m sorry, okay!”

 

“You bet your ass you’re sorry, you’re going to pull your weight now. I know things weren’t perfect but I thought we raised you better than this,” She continues on her tirade. Tweek doesn’t blame her, sure he dropped his pregnancy on his parents and Craig late but finding out  _ this _ late is probably really hurtful. 

 

“ _ I was scared!  _ I was really scared, okay? One minute I was just a kid doing my thing, and the next thing I know, Tweek is like, six months pregnant. I didn’t know how I was supposed to explain that,” Craig rambles, he sounds almost like he might cry. Tweek tries to snuggle in closer, hold him tighter.

 

“Well, Jamie’s here now. We can’t undo him, so we’re gonna do this properly. We’re gonna make sure he and Tweek are looked after,” Laura states, rather matter-of-factly. It’s mood whiplash but Tweek is grateful for the lull in the fighting. 

 

“Yeah, of course. If I’d have known his parents weren’t helping, I’d have bought the formula. I’m sorry, I’ll fix it, okay?” Craig promises as he presses a kiss to the top of Tweek’s head. “I’ll fix it.”

 

“You will,” Laura says sternly.

 

When Tweek does finally get seen by a doctor he’s not even in there for ten minutes. They take one look at him and say it’s an obvious after surgery infection. They admit him straight away to have a course of antibiotics and Tweek is too weak to say no. 

 

He finally does what everyone has been telling him to do for the last week: rest.

 

///

 

Tweek doesn’t know where he is when he wakes up. It’s loud, but a different kind of loud. Not a screaming baby loud; there’s people talking, the sound of things being moved around and the where and beeping of machinery. It takes him a second before he realises…

 

_ Oh god it’s a hospital! _

 

He starts to panic, his heart thumping loudly against his rib cage and blood whooshing in his ears. He scrambles to try and get out of the bed before strong hands are holding him down.

 

No no no, he can’t be here! This is where they cut him open, where is Jamie?  _ Why is Jamie not here?  _ They held him down when he was in labour too! Oh god, is it happening again? Is he hallucinating?

 

“Tweek,” a voice says. It brings him back into his body for a minute. It’s a voice he knows.

 

“You’re okay,” says another: female; still familiar. 

 

Tweek takes a deep breath and tries to steady himself. He looks over to see both Craig and Laura looking at him kindly as they hold him down. An oxymoron.

 

“Calm down, babe,” Craig says. “You’re okay.”

 

“Where’s Jamie?” Tweek chokes out, still trying to regulate his breathing.

 

“He’s with my dad, remember?” Craig prompts and rubs Tweek’s forearm.

 

“Why am I  _ -gah-  _ here?” He asks. He looks down at his shaking hand - it has an I.V. plugged into it. How the fuck did he get here?

 

“You’ve got an infection, hun. They’re pumping you with some antibiotics and then you can come home tomorrow,” Laura says, trying her best to reassure him.

 

“I want to be with Jamie,” he whines pathetically. 

 

“You need to get healthy first,” Laura says. “that way you can take care of him the best.”

 

“Okay,” he mumbles, feeling his eyelids droop and his chest get heavy.

 

“Sleep some more, babe,” Craig says as Tweek sinks back down into the bed. 

 

—

 

When he wakes up the second time it’s just him and Laura. She’s sitting at his bedside, looking tired and scrolling through her phone. Things are kind of quieter than before, but Tweek remembers enough about hospitals to know that it’s a quiet moment, not a quiet night. 

 

“Where’s  _ -nghh-  _ Craig?” He asks her groggily.

 

“Oh!” she says, looking up from her phone in surprise. “You’re awake! I sent him home to help his dad with Jamie. He’ll be here to pick us up tomorrow.”

 

“Is Jamie okay?”

 

“Yeah,” Laura says, happily. “Craig sent me a picture, wanna see?”

 

Tweek nods, and Laura brings her phone over to him. She scrolls through her photos until she finds the right one. 

 

It’s Craig holding Jamie who is looking tiny, all bundled up in a soft looking blue blanket that Tweek has never seen before. Jamie is frowning up at Craig and Craig is mimicking Jamie’s frown. They both look like grumpy old men.

 

Tweek has to smile, they look so alike. Tweek isn’t sure Jamie got anything from him - his nose maybe? 

 

“He’s a cranky little shit, just like Craig” Laura says with a chuckle.

 

“They look so alike,” Tweek remarks. 

 

“No paternity test needed - not that I didn't believe you!” 

 

“Do you think he  _ -hnn-  _ knows that Craig is his dad?” Tweek asks, “Because we don’t live together so he’s not always  _ -ah- _ there, but I am.”

 

“I’m really not sure,” Laura says in a hushed tone.. “Thomas and I were living together by the time Craig was born.”

 

“I hope he remembers his voice,” Tweek says quietly.

 

“I think he probably does, but either way, he’s safe.”

 

“Craig’s really good with him, he’s better than me. I’m with him all the  _ -hah- _ time but when Craig comes by, he seems to just - _ hnn _ \-  _ know  _ what to do,” Tweek says, exasperated. 

 

“Craig is a fair bit older than all his cousins so he’s had some experience with babies before. You seem like you’re doing just fine though, especially considering you’ve got an infection,” she says and smiles at him encouragingly.

 

“Why are you here?” Tweek asks her. He’s not her kid and he’s proven time and time again that he’s an absolute waste of space; he doesn’t get why she’s bothering. It would have been so easy for her to walk away after he was admitted.

 

“To make sure you’re okay, your parents aren’t picking up anyone’s calls,” she says, sounding slightly confused.

 

“But  _ why?”  _ He tries again.

 

“Well, because you’ve just had a baby for one, that’s a vulnerable time for any person - and you’ve had a baby with my son. You’re family now,” she says.

 

“My parents don’t even  _ -ah-  _ want me, or him” Tweek replies miserably.

 

“Your parents seem awful. Craig said that you’ve gone back to work already?”

 

“Well, yeah. I owe them lots of  _ -nnn-  _ money for my c-section. Oh shit!  _ -Gah-  _ What’s the time? I’m supposed to be at work by 4:30!” He exclaims, trying to look around the room for a clock. 

 

“You’re not going to work today, Tweek. You’re not going back to work until you’ve healed,” she says sternly. It’s the kind of voice his own mom used to use when something was non-negotiable. He sinks back into the bed, feelings of both guilt and relief mixing grossly in his stomach. 

 

“My parents-“ he starts.

 

“I’ll deal with them,” Laura says and waves him away. 

 

“I have to  _ -hah-  _ buy diapers and formula - I can’t-“

 

“I will cover that, and your prescription until you’ve healed. Craig will be pitching in financially too,” she continues.

 

“I can’t… I can’t--” he tries to think of more ways to protest but comes up empty handed. 

 

“You can, you need to be in the best shape possible to keep up with Jamie. Just take my help,  _ please _ ?” She begs, and Tweek lets himself deflate a little. 

 

“Why are you doing this?” He asks her, voice barely above a whisper. He doesn’t think he’s ever had someone who wasn’t Kenny or Craig go out of their way to be so nice to him. 

 

“Tweek, let me tell you a story,” Laura replies. “I was sixteen years old when I had Craig, and although I had Thomas, we were as lonely and scared as you are.

 

Our parents both disowned us and cut all contact. I only got back in touch with some of my siblings and Thomas’ siblings when they had their own kids. Craig is my son, I adore him, even if he is an idiot - and I will never treat him the way my parents treated me. Craig and Tricia have both grown up without grandparents. Jamie won’t have that.”

  
  


“Oh…” Tweek trails off. This isn’t something Craig has ever mentioned, especially not the grandparents thing. He was vaguely aware that Craig’s parents were younger than everyone else’s, but he hadn’t realised they were  _ that  _ young. 

 

“Thank you,” he says, sincere.

 

He thinks of Jamie and how much he is going to benefit from having a grandmother like Laura. He swallows his pride and decides he has to accept her help, because she’s exactly what Jamie deserves. 

 

///

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr is blesspastacraig if you wanna be friends :)


	4. Warm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek comes home to Jamie and a real family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to sun_sparks for the beta. This story has been really hard for me to write, but I enjoyed playing around in this universe. I hope you guys like this, as I'm very proud of it myself.

True to her word, Laura does fill his prescription of painkillers and antibiotics as they leave the hospital. Tweek hates to admit it, but he feels much more rested than he’s felt all week. He feels bad about the prospect of him sitting on his ass while everyone else pulls his weight, but he gets it; he gets what Laura means: he has to heal up so that he can take care of Jamie properly. 

 

They meet Craig out at the parking lot and Tweek all but falls into his arms. Craig is one of the only people in the world who can truly make him feel safe; he’s more at home in his arms than he is in his own house. 

 

Craig holds him tight too. It reminds Tweek of the way Craig hugged him right after Jamie was born. When Jamie was properly asleep and Craig and Tweek were left alone, Craig hugged him tight and for a long, long time. Craig must have been terrified while Tweek and Jamie were in theatre.

 

“I love you,” he whispers to Tweek. Tweek squeezes him back in reply.

 

Tweek feels almost peaceful as Craig helps him into the backseat. Laura drives, and Craig looks very grateful to her. He snuggles up as close as he can to Tweek and keeps intermittently kissing his temples. He has his hands clasped tightly with Tweek’s as well; he must have really been worried. 

 

“I think Jamie had a bit of an upset tummy last night,” Craig says, “he’s okay though. We got him down and he seems happier today.”

 

“Oh, poor baby,” Tweek replies tiredly.

 

“He’s fine, he probably just ate too much like the greedy shit he is,” Craig chuckles.

 

“I don’t think that’s a thing, babies just  _ -nghh-  _ spit their milk back up,” Tweek says, laughing, “but he is greedy.”

 

“Maybe he just got some wind that wouldn’t shift?” Laura offers.

 

“He’s fine,” Craig assures. “I think he missed you though.”

 

“I missed him too,” Tweek says solemnly. 

 

—

 

When they get back to the house, Tweek is instructed to rest in Craig’s bed. As soon as he gets comfortable, Craig brings in Jamie, who is fussing a little but not screaming like he was yesterday. 

 

“You wanna feed the bottomless pit?” Craig asks him.

 

Tweek nods furiously and holds his hands out. His wish is granted and Craig carefully places Jamie in Tweek’s arms, making sure to support his head. Once Jamie is settled, Craig then passes Tweek a bottle.

 

“I was gonna tell my parents eventually,” Craig says, “so I have things for Jamie - hoping he could stay the night and stuff.”

 

“Let’s  _ -ah- _ actually communicate next time,” Tweek says, looking down at Jamie who is drinking happily. Tweek still gets chills every time he remembers that he and Craig  _ made  _ Jamie. Two stupid teenagers who fucked drunkenly and split a condom, made something as wonderful as Jamie. It boggles his mind, he never knew he could have so much love for such a tiny thing. 

 

Craig eases himself down on the bed next to Tweek, he leans in and presses a kiss to Tweek’s lips. It’s chaste and innocent, but the way Craig’s lips linger slightly tells Tweek that he loves him. There’s still sparks. 

 

“I will fix this, all of it,” he says when they part. “I’m gonna take care of you so good! You won’t have to lift a finger - I’ll carry you to take a shit if that’s what you need!”

 

“Fuck off, I don’t need that” Tweek giggles, “I guess I just  _ -hnn-  _ shouldn’t move much?”

 

“Take your pills, stay in bed and get some sleep,” Craig says, “drink lots of water and stuff. I’m gonna stay home from school for a bit and help you look after Jamie. You need rest.”

 

“I don’t want you to fall behind,” Tweek says, frowning. “one of us should  _ -ah-  _ stay in school.”

 

“I’ll catch up and go back, it’s not a big deal,” Craig says, he rests his chin on Tweek’s shoulder. 

 

“I dunno…” Tweek trails off. He needs help, he knows he does, but Craig is good at school. He’s  _ smart. Tweek _ has never been good at school - or good at anything really. Craig could really  _ do _ something; Tweek doesn’t want to hold him back. 

 

“It’s not a debate, mom said I have to,” says Craig with a big shit-eating grin. 

 

“Well fuck, I can’t argue with your mom,” Tweek replies with a good natured laugh.

He realises that Jamie has already demolished his bottle and Tweek hands it to Craig. He shifts Jamie to his shoulder and pats his back. Craig moves back to allow Jamie’s head to rest where his chin was. 

 

“Damn right. Her and dad went out to get a bassinet and stuff, he’ll be able to sleep right here with us, but still in his own bed,” Craig says while rubbing Tweek’s back. It feels nice; the painkillers are definitely helping because he thinks this is the first time he’s shifted Jamie without yelping in pain. 

 

“Shit Craig, I can’t accept that,” Tweek frowns. He can’t have the Tuckers doing everything for him. His parents would say that’s cheating; that Tweek is freeloading, he’s lazy and he shouldn’t be allowed to have Jamie if he isn’t going to do the hard work himself.

 

“Well it’s not  _ for  _ you, it’s for Jamie,” Craig rationalises. “he’s our son, and their grandson, and grandparents buy their grandchildren things.”

 

Tweek sighs, he isn’t wrong. Jamie definitely deserves better than his parents. He hopes he’s doing better with Jamie than they did with him. 

 

“I guess. I just feel like shit that I don’t have any money,” he replies. 

 

“We’re a family,” Craig says. “we’re doing things together now.”

 

///

 

“Okay!” Laura exclaims as she walks through the doorway, carrying several shopping bags. “I got some things for Jamie, I hope that’s okay?”

 

“Of course it’s okay,” Craig says, but Laura is looking at Tweek. 

 

Tweek isn’t sure what to do, because Jamie does need things, badly. His parents haven’t actually bought him anything even though they said they were going to. Tweek drained his entire savings account just to get all the basic things Jamie has now. He knows he should accept, but he isn’t used to people being kind. He hears his parents voices in his head calling him a disappointment, a waste of space, useless… He doesn’t feel like he deserves this kindness.

 

But… Jamie does. 

 

Jamie deserves to have nice things, he deserves to have two parents who love him, and grandparents and an aunt. He deserves all these things that Tweek never got to have and who on earth is Tweek to deny him any of it? 

 

“Thank you,” he says, meeting her gaze and hoping how grateful he is transfers from his eyes to hers.

 

“That’s fine,” she says with a kind smile. “I may have gone a bit overboard, baby shopping is so much more fun as a grandma. Shit, Craig!” She exclaims and hits the back of his head playfully; “you made me a grandma!”

 

“Look at him though!” Craig points to Jamie, asleep in the middle of the bed with his parents either side as human barriers. “Look how cute he is!”

 

“He’s gorgeous, now go downstairs and help your dad set up the bassinet, you little shit!” She says, her hand raised in a mock threat. Craig scurries away and Tweek instinctively grabs at Jamie. He can’t even roll yet but Tweek is still terrified of him rolling off the bed. Laura scoots in where Craig was and Tweek breathes a sigh of relief. The damage is done though, Jamie whines a little before breaking into a full cry. Tweek winces and goes to pick him up but Laura stops him.

 

“Can I?” She asks. 

 

Tweek hesitates, though he’s not sure what for. Laura has been nothing but kind to both him and Jamie. She’s his grandmother; Tweek knows he has to let her in but his fingers still itch with anxiety. Like small electrical pulses that shock him every time he’s about to let his guard down. He tries to ignore the nerves swirling in his gut.

 

He nods. 

 

He plays with the fibres of the blankets instead of grabbing Jamie back from Laura, like he really wants to. He focuses on the look of devotion she is giving him, the warmth of her smile and how gently she holds him. 

 

Like he’s precious. He is, and she sees it too. 

 

He allows himself to relax, just a little, as he watches her soothe him. 

 

“He has your nose,” Laura says quietly, still rocking him. “I didn’t really get to have a good look at him before, but I can see it clearly now.”

 

Tweek leans forward a little and tries his best to see it, but he’s not sure. All he really sees is Craig when he looks at Jamie. It blows his mind that Jamie grew inside him for nine months, yet he came out looking so much like Craig. 

 

“I can’t see it,” he admits.

 

“Sometimes it’s hard to see yourself but he definitely does.”

 

He’s calming down as she rocks him, his little eyes looking up at her with curiosity. Tweek’s not sure he can actually see her face yet but she’s definitely a new voice. Tweek’s voice is the only voice Jamie knows for sure.

 

“What last name did you give him? Just out of curiosity,” she asks.

 

“I didn’t fill out the birth certificate, Craig did.” Tweek replies, feeling a pang of guilt in his stomach. “Craig wrote Tweak, but  _ -hnn- _ I wanna change it.”

 

“You did all the hard work” Laura remarks good naturedly.

 

“Craig said we’re a family now,” Tweek says, he considers his next words carefully, unsure how much he really wants to reveal. “My parents  _ -gah-  _ lied to me, they told me that they were gonna take Jamie, but it  _ -nghh-  _ ended up being just me. I don’t want them having any connection to him.”

 

“The name is up to you and Craig, he’s your kid,” Laura replies, “but that’s their loss, they don’t deserve him.”

 

“I think they just wanted to punish me, I guess  _ -nnn-  _ it worked but I don’t really feel like I’m being punished. Not anymore,” he says.

 

After a long pause he decides to really tell her. 

 

“I didn’t want him at first. I’m terrible.”

 

“No, you’re not. Do you think I was thrilled when I found out I was pregnant with Craig?” She says quietly; she’s probably going to get Jamie to fall back to sleep and Tweek honestly loves her for it. He feels weirdly good, warm and full. It’s weird trying to shake the notion that he  _ doesn’t  _ have to do everything alone. His parents made it sound like he had to, or else he’d be a terrible parent, but everything about this dynamic feels right. It feels like a proper family.

 

“I guess not,” he mumbles in reply. 

 

“Do you resent him and regret him now that he’s here?” She continues, her voice hitting that even tone that Craig’s often does. It’s a little jarring. 

 

“No.”

 

“Exactly,” she says, “what matters is what you’re doing now, and from where I’m sitting you’re doing fine.”

 

They both watch as Jamie’s little eyes flutter shut, Laura strokes his head and hums a song to him as he drifts off. Tweek wonders if she hummed the same songs to Craig. She slowly places Jamie back on his spot on the bed between herself and Tweek. Tweek pulls the baby blanket over him. It’s one from his house; hopefully it smells familiar and helps Jamie to feel safe. 

 

“But I wanted to ask you,” Laura says, her voice in a low whisper. “I know you don’t like accepting help and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable…” she scratches the back of her neck, something Craig also does when he’s nervous, “but I think it might be a better environment if you and Jamie came to live here.” 

 

“It’s better for new parents to live together,” she hurriedly continues, “and that way you and Craig can have mine and Thomas’ support.”

 

Tweek blinks back at her dumbly. 

 

_ How?  _ How can she be offering this to him? She didn’t even know about Jamie until last night. Sure, that was Craig’s fault but that doesn’t make the news any easier to swallow. His own parents haven’t even offered him any kind of support. His inner voice tells him to say no, but the thought of last night happening again… being all alone and there being no money, no formula, no help? Tweek can’t do that to Jamie again. 

 

“I don’t know…” he trails off. “Craig and I have only been dating for like, three months.”

 

Because what if Craig doesn’t want them here? Maybe he doesn’t want his space encroached on? He doesn’t want to just drop in on Craig’s life and take it over. 

 

“You’ve got a baby, the regular relationship milestones aren’t really relevant here,” Laura replies, “but Craig wants you to stay. I asked him last night.”

 

Tweek bites his lip, he  _ so _ wants to say yes. This house is so much fuller than his own, and honestly, the idea of Jamie growing up around people that genuinely love him is what’s really swaying him. 

 

His own house is so cold and empty, he only really noticed the stark difference now, juxtaposed so obviously with the genuine love and warmth Craig and his family feel for one another. There’s no way Jamie wouldn’t pick up on the toxicity of his environment if he stays at home.

 

“I… Er… can I think about it?” He fumbles. He’s gotta talk to Craig first. 

 

“You most definitely can.” Laura says and smiles kindly. 

 

///

 

Tweek curls in closer to Craig’s embrace. They’re both together in his bed, enjoying the short time they have as a couple before Jamie wakes up needing a feed. They should probably sleep too, but Tweek wants to savour the time; wants to enjoy a moment that is just for them. 

 

Craig moves his hand across Tweek’s stomach and accidentally brushes the dressings of his wound. He hopes he can be done with them soon now that he is taking antibiotics every day.

 

“Sorry,” Craig whispers. “does it still hurt?”

 

“Not really,” Tweek replies.

 

It’s more of a dull throb, and it’s background pain. The painkillers and the antibiotics seem to have calmed everything down. 

 

“Your mom asked me and  _ -nnn- _ Jamie to move in,” Tweek whispers, figuring now is as good a time as any to try to have this conversation. It’s much easier without having to juggle Jamie at the same time as well.

 

“Yeah, I know. Are you gonna?” Craig asks and pulls Tweek in a little closer. 

 

This is where Tweek feels most at home, right now he doesn’t feel like he is invading Craig’s space or that he is unwanted. Sometimes the static of other people’s screaming, mainly his parents, and self doubt dictate and sculpt his thoughts. Craig is one of the only people who can break through and get him to think clearly; a safe haven from the world. 

 

“Well… Jamie should  _ -ah-  _ definitely live here…” Tweek says, trailing off a little, not sure how he should finish the sentence. Jamie definitely needs to be in a healthy environment. Tweek doesn’t know how he’d cope if Jamie lived here and he somewhere else but he knows it’s the best thing to do. Jamie has to stay here.

 

“And you,” Craig adds; it isn’t a question or a request, it’s a statement.

 

“Do you really want me to? I don’t want you to think I’m a  _ -hnn-  _ leech, man,” Tweek replies nervously. He's pretty sure Craig does want him here but he wants to offer him the out anyway. 

 

“I don’t. I want you both here. The three of us should be together,” he states matter-of-factly. 

 

“Okay, then I’ll stay,” he says contentedly, threading his fingers with Craig’s.

 

“Good. I love you, okay?” Craig replies and presses a kiss to the back of his neck. 

 

Before Tweek had gotten pregnant Craig had liked to be the little spoon but the belly had made it kind of impossible. Lately, Tweek really felt like he needed to be held, so he’s okay with the role reversal until he hopefully, feels like himself again. 

 

“I love you too,” he echoes. 

 

Tweek listens to the silence that follows, it’s nice. It’s nice to know that Jamie is asleep, it’s nice to know that Craig loves him and it’s definitely nice to have a minute to themselves as a couple. He’s happy that this is where he is going to rest his head every night from now on, tucked up with Craig and his sleeping son not far. He’s still anxious about Jamie being on his own in the bassinet, but something about the atmosphere of the Tucker’s house makes him feel a bit better about the idea. 

 

Tweek’s eyelids are starting to droop when Craig shifts a little and speaks. 

 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell my parents, I just panicked and froze,” Craig says, breaking the silence. It did need to be said, but Tweek would prefer it now to be now. 

 

“I’m not mad at you, I did the same thing for like, my whole  _ -nghh- _ pregnancy,” he replies. He feels like it’d be much too hypocritical of him to hold a grudge when he just avoided Craig for six months instead of giving him some autonomy.

 

“My mom is right though,” he says forlornly. “if I’d have just told her things wouldn’t have been as bad as they were… I did leave you on your own.”

 

He’s sort of right, but Tweek knows that he also should have swallowed his pride and just  _ told  _ Craig that his parents had fucked him over. Craig is so smart and he’s going places that Tweek was never going to go. All Tweek has is parenthood and he doesn’t even feel like he’s good at that - he’s trying though.

 

“I should have told you they weren’t  _ -mmm-  _ helping me, let’s call it even,” he suggests, mumbling as his words are heavy with sleep. 

 

“I’m still really sorry, babe,” Craig whispers.

 

“Your mom said to me that it’s what I’m  _ -ah- _ doing here and now that matters,” Tweek replies, hoping that his half asleep ramblings make sense outside his head. “I think that goes for both of us, we made some mistakes but now we’re fixing them.”

 

Craig hums in agreement.

 

“I like that,” he says. 

 

Tweek doesn’t know what a perfect family looks like, he’s probably never going to know, but he thinks they’re doing better. They’re a step up from his own parents and that is something he holds on to tightly. It’s important -  if Jamie grows up in a house where he feels safe, feels loved and feels supported, Tweek has done his job right. 

 

There’s work to do,  _ tons,  _ but if he can model his family after the Tuckers - rather than the Tweaks - then things can only get better, right? He’s got a lot of learning to do but he really wants to try. Fuck it, he’ll make the honour roll for parenting. 

 

At least now he has Craig and the Tuckers to catch him if he falls.

 

For the first time in a while, Tweek lets himself sleep, curled into Craig’s arms, drifting off to the steady sounds of his partner’s breathing. He doesn’t wake until he hears the sounds of Jamie’s cries. He smiles as Craig goes over to get Jamie - the cycle continues and life marches on. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr is blesspastacraig if you wanna be friends :)

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is blesspastacraig if you wanna be friends :)


End file.
